


No Good With Words

by mggislife2789



Category: Criminal Minds, Spencer Reid - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-30
Updated: 2016-11-30
Packaged: 2018-09-03 05:21:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8698672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mggislife2789/pseuds/mggislife2789
Summary: Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or their original stories. This is only for fun. It's where my brain goes after the credits roll. No copyright intended. Better safe than sorry. ;)





	

When you first started, Spencer seemed to have something against you. In time, you’d come to realize that he was threatened by your intelligence. Your IQ was two points higher than his. Although you excelled in different areas, your one area of commonality was statistics. 

When you realized he felt threatened by you, your anxiety shot into overdrive. Anxiety had always been an issue for you, but being the new girl made it worse. Since then, you’d become good friends with everyone on the team - Spencer included - but your panic attacks and anxiety hadn’t petered out at all. It didn’t help that you harbored an all-consuming love for the good doctor. Once he’d realized you were no threat to him, his job or his friends, you’d gotten close, trading nerdy statistics nearly every day.

However, the panic attacks were happening on almost every case for one reason or another. The last case was one of the worst. Spencer had put himself in the line of fire. The unsub was very much like him - made fun of a lot, desperate for love and attention and not well taken care of at home. He’d handed you his gun and walked straight towards the unsub, who had a gun of his own.

“Spencer, what are you doing?” you blurted out, watching as one of your best friends walked straight into the path of a loaded rifle. 

“Don’t shoot,” he said, walking towards him in an attempt to talk him down.

Once out of earshot, you had no idea what was happening. First the unsub put his gun down, then he picked it back up again, then it fell slightly down again. You couldn’t keep track and the not knowing was killing you, especially when Spencer knew exactly what he was doing. You knew he felt for the unsub, but dammit, this was dumb. As you watched the gun maneuver in the boy’s hands, your heart began racing. What if he didn’t come out of this? You’d become so close. Plus, you’d never told him how you felt about him. What if you never got to tell him? The tremors in your hands started to increase, the gun shaking uncontrollably. You had to calm yourself. If the unsub picked up his gun again, you needed to be ready to take him out - and your window of opportunity was very narrow. Your line of slight blurred just a bit as the boy picked up his gun once more, training it on Spencer.

Come on, Y/N, you said to yourself, steadying your trembling hands. “Spencer, down!” you screamed, as the unsub put his finger on the trigger. In a quick succession of events, Spencer dropped to the ground, the unsub switched his target to you, and you let loose a hail of bullets, hitting him square in the chest.  
Immediately, you ran toward the unsub, kicking the gun from his hand and checking his pulse. He was dead. “Spencer, are you okay?” you asked. You felt horrible you had to shoot the kid; Spencer really wanted to help him. But he wasn’t going to be talked down - you knew it as soon as he’d put his finger on the trigger.  
“Yea, I’m okay,” he said, looking at the slight traces of blood that had splattered onto his clothes. He looked towards the unsub like he wanted to cry.

“I’m sorry, Spence,” you apologized, “but I couldn’t lose you.”

“It’s okay, Y/N,” he said dejected. But he wasn’t okay. He walked away in anger, leaving you to simmer in your anxiety.

\--------------------------

Once back at the BAU, Spencer seemed to let things go. He knew what he did was dumb and he knew that you’d only done what you did to save his life. As the two of you finished your paperwork on the case, he turned to you. “Y/N, can I ask you something?” he asked, a look of trepidation on his face.

“Sure, Spencer,” you replied. “What is it?” Whenever you didn’t know what someone wanted to talk about, it made you anxious. How you hadn’t collapsed from fear and anxiety by now was beyond you.

“When you took out the unsub, you said ‘I couldn’t lose you.’ Not, ‘I didn’t want you to get hurt’ or ‘The unsub had his finger on the trigger,’ which he did. You specifically said, ‘I couldn’t lose you.’ Why?”

“I-I don’t know how to explain, Spence,” you sputtered. You knew facts, not feelings. Feelings were difficult to explain and you didn’t have them - romantic ones anyway - for many people, so explaining them was beyond your capabilities.

“You have an IQ of 189, Y/N. There has to be a way to explain,” he insisted.

“I meant what I said, Spence,” you started, the pain in your chest intensifying. He wanted to hear your answer, but you weren’t sure how he’d react. Again, uncertainty was a bitch. “You’re special to me. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” You started shaking slightly, afraid to be so vulnerable. “Over the years, you’ve become one of the few people I can be myself with, one of the few people that enjoys my company, despite how weird and annoying I can be...you’re one of the few people I feel comfortable with and I don’t wanna lose that,” you said, looking up to see that his look had softened. It was too difficult to beat around the bush, so you just said exactly how you felt. “Spence...I’m...I’m in love with you.” You face heated up in embarrassment - you were sure your face was as red as a tomato.

“Why didn’t you say so?” he whispered, reaching out to grab your hand.

“I’m not good with words, Spence. Not unless they’re factual. Feelings aren’t my thing,” you rambled.

“I know how you feel,” he smiled, grasping your hand a little tighter. “I’m not really good with them either, plus I get all nervous taking to people I like."

“I get that,” you laughed, the tightness in your chest easing away a little bit.

He turned his chair towards you, grabbing your other hand. “Just so you know, your feelings are reciprocated. I-I love you too.”  
A warm smile spread across your face, the shakiness in your being dissipating completely. As you leaned into him, you looked around the make sure no one would catch you - that still made you nervous - but once the coast was clear, you pressed your lips to his - feeling the most comfortable and at ease you had ever been.


End file.
